“When a mind is in disorder, a disease cannot be healed”
-Yellow Emperor’s Inner Classic from 2nd century, BCE.
In Chinese medicine, when we think of a healthy lifestyle, the focus in not only on a balanced diet, exercise, not drinking too much alcohol, more sleep, we also focus on the art of regulating the mind and emotions. There is a lot of emphasis on the mind and body and how our emotions can aid and affect our healing.
Part of my role is to help women and couples through the difficult and all-consuming emotions they can experience while trying to conceive, following loss, and in adjusting to parenthood. I see women and couples with many anxieties and stresses. There is fear of failure and often panic about age, being childless, judged, money, time, etc.
I have lost count of the number of women and men who come to the clinic feeling their body has failed them and with a fear of failing. This can be from the couple trying to conceive a couple of months, who have overloaded themselves with information and are so anxious, to the couple who have been trying from quite some time and may have experienced loss and/or many failed cycles. They are often unhappy and experiencing acute feelings of grief and sadness. And then you have the new mum who’s birthing experience did not go to plan and was told it was due to failure to progress or who may have wanted this for so long and are fearful of letting her new baby down. There are so many emotions.
We live in a society that regularly sends us messages such as work harder, stay busy, strive for more, aim to be the best, we can have anything we want when we want it. As humans, we can be very competitive and can compare ourselves to others. Often it is hard to accept things don’t always go to plan and are not always within our control. I have immense sympathy for women and couples struggling to conceive, but I also have seen and know from Chinese medicine how patients’ emotional response can become part of the problem.
My approach is to encourage you to develop self-compassion, kindness and awareness and to let go of the need to control. As we all know amazing things happen when we lose control and least expect it. How many times have you noticed in your own life and in those around you amazing things coming out of the blue?
